Alternative Halloween

As I was trying to rest my weary eyes one August afternoon, a random question came into my head: Are there people out there who make their kids dress up as biblical figures for Halloween? 

This thought plagued me, so I got up and did a little google search. What I found were dozens of websites dedicated to "Fun Christian Halloween Alternatives". Their mantra? "While Halloween celebrates death and demonic spirits, why not throw a party for your kids celebrating life and the King of Kings!"

Even though I'm very sure I'll never find myself celebrating Halloween in a "fun Christian way", I started to wonder what might happen if I ever tried to....

Right. So, apparently the first thing I need to do is hang up Christmas lights instead of "traditional scary Halloween decorations".

Then I need to follow bunch of spoilsports to a Christian Halloween costume contest party......A BIBLICAL HEROES COSTUME CONTEST! I'm guessing there will be a lot of  people dressed as Jesus.

Turns out, Lucifer is not a costume that is commonly worn.

But I guess you can dress up as knights, princesses, veggietales, positive figures or..... "bible man characters"??? So not any women from the bible? Because they're all basically just prostitutes and servants, right? Jesus Christ.

 Or you could just look like an idiot and dress up as the Bible. I guess that's cool too.

Then after that, I'm sure we can all agree that the best activity of the Halloween season is sitting around the campfire, roasting some marshmallows, and telling some scary-....wait, we can't tell scary stories? We really have to tell Bible stories? Right. Fine. Because those aren't scary at all.

However, if your church is super involved, your congregation can throw a Noah's Ark party! I have to be honest, what I came up with in my head is a lot more fun/realistic sounding than what the actual description of Noah's Ark party really is. It really bummed me out. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say it seemed more like VBS, and less like a reenactment.

Oh but wait! If I still wanted to go trick-or-treating...I can do so. All I have to do is dress up as a biblical hero, refuse all candy, and hand out candy with "witnessing stickers" to every home I visit!
So okay, I was pretty snarky about all this. It's just weird to me that there are actually parents who are making their kids partake in these alternative activities while the other kids are NOT out worshiping the devil and other demonic spirits. They're just getting a bunch of candy and dressing up as Willy Wonka because it's usually socially unacceptable to do so on any other day!..........I'll explain another time.

But perhaps there are some kooky Christian kids who do enjoy this Alternative Halloween stuff. Whatever floats their ark, I guess.

Just count me out of it.

~AM